Post by Kingpin on Apr 10, 2004 23:05:18 GMT -5
OOC: I normally hate starting out with an OOC and everyone who does it, but this thread needs some explaining. I recently saw one of the crappiest movies I have ever witnessed in my entire life. Dawn of the Dead. It was good for some laughs, but with no plot, it wasn't worth my five lousy bucks. I hate to spoil the plot for everyone, but I can sum it up in one sentence. Some chick wakes up one morning and there's zombies everywhere.
Anyhow, in honor of this crappy movie, I've decided to make a crappy thread. You may have noticed that the title includes such classics as 28 Days Later and Resident Evil[/i.] At least those two had plots. By the way, this thread will not follow any plots of any movies.
Anyway, without any further adu, here's the thread.
Dawn of the 28 Resident Dead[/b]A crappy zombie thread. Join if you want to kill stuff and get some cheap laughs.
IC: Lars Manfield awoke to the radio alarm, responding by beating it repeatedly until he accidently hit the snooze button. He rolled over and pulled the sheets up around his head, and soaked in the comfortable warmth. Sleeping in in the morning was bliss, even if you were late for work.
Just before he could drift off to his happy place, he heard a knock at the door. He chose to ignore it, but it was followed with several more. "Whaddayawant?" he grumbled, finally getting agitated enough to answer.
A hiss sounded from the other side. Lars didn't realize it at that point, but it was coming from a hideous zombie.
"Go away, I'm sleepy," he snorted. The evil zombie hissed again, than continued to knock on the door. Lars protested once more.
"Maarg snuffglob," the zombie screamed. That loosely translates to "Awww, c'mon. Lemme in."
Lars rubbed the sleep from his eyes and crawled out of bed. "All right, all right. I'm coming. What's your problem, man?" he mumbled as he crept over the floor and reached for the doorknob.
Just as he made contact with the knob, the door burst inwards, and standing before Lars was a zombie in all of it's glory. It's skin was pale green with polluted veins, and dried-out eyes shifted from within shallow, blackened sockets. One of it's arms had fallen off, and it had deep lacerations over it's hairy, naked chest. The smell was horrific.
Before it could lunge and make groaning noised at Lars, he blew chunks into it's face, causing it to become confused and stagger backwards. Acting quickly, Lars knew that instead of leaping out a window or even just going out of the front door, his only chance for survival would be to lock himself into a bathroom. Eventually, there would be a close-call scene where he struggled with a zombie and eventually managed to escape through the tiny privacy window.
Within only minutes, he was fufilling the cliche prophecy. The zombie was working it's way through a hole it had punched in the door, and all Lars had to defend himself with was a fishing pole with a jig and bobber on it, which he had conveniently left in the bathroom for some reason.
"Heeere's Johnny!" the zombie screamed as it thrust it's head through the hole. With years of fishing experience, Lars cast the jig into the zombie's eye socket, closed the bail, and set the hook, effectively taking the ugly thing's eye out. It recoiled in pain, giving Lars his opportunity to climb through the window.
After a big of struggle, Lars dropped from the window onto his front lawn, where he promptly realized that there were zombies everywhere, likely having escaped from the local zombie factory. Almost as if he was reading this as I write, he quickly exclaimed "There's zombies everywhere! They must have escaped from the local zombie factory!"
Lars arrived at the nearest heavy quasi-legal weaponry shop after a daring escape seen in his beat-up Gremlin. From outside the factory, he could already see that people were lining up even outside the doors to grab some weapons and go slay some zombies.
Pushing people aside so that he could get inside, Lars was greeted with elevator-style music. He began grabbing up weapons with which to dish out some red-hot dead-alive death, when the cashier suddenly piped up.
"All right, you guys. What do you think you're doing?" he asked, calmly. "You can't just loot the store. That's morally incorrect."
People all around looked at each other. Perhaps this guy was right. What they were doing was just plain wrong.
"I mean... come on. If you can't pay for it, then please just leave. That way, the people who can pay will have weapons so they won't die," he continued. The shop clerk had more wisdom then a Black History Month guest speaker.
The shop quickly cleared out until only a few people were left, one of which was Lars. He looked at the clerk with big puppy eyes and began to plead. "Can I please have a level one gun, Mr. Clerk? Please?"
It was enough to make any self-respecting, red-blooded store clerk puke all over. "All right," he grunted. "In fact, you can all have one level one weapon. And one level one item, too, just because you're lucky! Just one! Now grab one, and get the hell out of here!" he yelled.
Lars, filled with joy and inspiration to slay zombies, grabbed a .22 pistol and a blood-stained wife beater, and headed out.
"All right, you guys," he called to the others. "Let's all climb into my tiny, underpowered car and head to the zombie factory!"
[glow=red,2,300]Rules[/glow]Read them, or else you'll have no idea how to play. Not kidding.
1: After each post, the next person to post will grant you some money, depending on how good your last post was. You can earn up to $75 plus bonuses, depending on how good your post was. That means that the next person to post in this thread will rate my intro. Here's the system:
Proper grammar & spelling: +$25
Contributing to the RPG: +$25
Violence: +$25
Bonuses
heh (made you snort/grunt): +$25
lolz (made you laugh): +$50
lmfao (made you roll on the floor): +$75
Did something cool (name it)(can be use more than once): +$25
Be sure to total it all up for the person. Use your computer's calculator if you need to.
2: The money you earn can be spent on items and weapons. If at any time you want to buy some new stuff, just post that your character has left the fight to get some stuff, post what you bought, then post them getting back into the action. You'll notice that I mentioned level one items and weapons in my post. Items and weapons are rated from level one to level three, level one being the least effective. Your character will start out with a household object (like a fishing pole, butter knife, or toaster), one level one weapon, and one level one item. Here are the weapons.
Weapons
(level one)
1: .22 pistol $100
2: break-action shotgun $100
3: steak knife $100
4: .22 rifle $100
(level two)
1: .45 pistol $500
2: pump-action shotgun $500
3: machete $500
4: .257 rifle $500
(level three)
1: .50 pistol $1000
2: semi-automatic shotgun $1000
3: chainsaw $1000
4: .50 rifle $1000
5: super zombienator 2593 and three-fourths $1000 (use your imagination)
And here's the items.
Items
(level one)
1: cool sunglasses $100
2: plastic "bling" necklace $100
3: afro wig $100
4: fingerless wool gloves $100
5: long jacket $100
6: blood-stained wife beater $100 (why is it stained? who cares, it's cool!)
(level two)
1: combat boots $500
2: cheap rifle scope $500
3: silver "bling" necklace $500
4: fingerless leather gloves $500
5: uncolored leather trenchcoat $500
6: black baggy pants with lots of pockets $500
(level three)
1: Oakleys glasses $1000
2: Leuphold rifle scope w/ infrared & night vision $1000
3: black leather trenchcoat $1000
4: gold "bling" necklace $1000
5: black fingerless leather gloves $1000
6: fake dog poop $1000
3: I might randomly decide to initiate a vote. In a vote, everyone MUST vote for one person to be killed. Whoever recieves the most votes will be killed.
4: If you suck, don't join, because I'll kill your character.
5: Your character sheet will look like the following example. You will not add or omit information. If you do either, I will kill your character.
Name: Lars Manfield
Age: 26
Household item: Fishing pole w/ jig & bobber
Shirt (all characters start out with a T-shirt): Dark green
Jeans (all characters start out with jeans, which may be any color except for black): Blue
All other information is to be revealed in your posts.
6: That's it. Enjoy this crappy zombie thread as if it was the best one you had ever seen in your life
Anyhow, in honor of this crappy movie, I've decided to make a crappy thread. You may have noticed that the title includes such classics as 28 Days Later and Resident Evil[/i.] At least those two had plots. By the way, this thread will not follow any plots of any movies.
Anyway, without any further adu, here's the thread.
Dawn of the 28 Resident Dead[/b]A crappy zombie thread. Join if you want to kill stuff and get some cheap laughs.
IC: Lars Manfield awoke to the radio alarm, responding by beating it repeatedly until he accidently hit the snooze button. He rolled over and pulled the sheets up around his head, and soaked in the comfortable warmth. Sleeping in in the morning was bliss, even if you were late for work.
Just before he could drift off to his happy place, he heard a knock at the door. He chose to ignore it, but it was followed with several more. "Whaddayawant?" he grumbled, finally getting agitated enough to answer.
A hiss sounded from the other side. Lars didn't realize it at that point, but it was coming from a hideous zombie.
"Go away, I'm sleepy," he snorted. The evil zombie hissed again, than continued to knock on the door. Lars protested once more.
"Maarg snuffglob," the zombie screamed. That loosely translates to "Awww, c'mon. Lemme in."
Lars rubbed the sleep from his eyes and crawled out of bed. "All right, all right. I'm coming. What's your problem, man?" he mumbled as he crept over the floor and reached for the doorknob.
Just as he made contact with the knob, the door burst inwards, and standing before Lars was a zombie in all of it's glory. It's skin was pale green with polluted veins, and dried-out eyes shifted from within shallow, blackened sockets. One of it's arms had fallen off, and it had deep lacerations over it's hairy, naked chest. The smell was horrific.
Before it could lunge and make groaning noised at Lars, he blew chunks into it's face, causing it to become confused and stagger backwards. Acting quickly, Lars knew that instead of leaping out a window or even just going out of the front door, his only chance for survival would be to lock himself into a bathroom. Eventually, there would be a close-call scene where he struggled with a zombie and eventually managed to escape through the tiny privacy window.
Within only minutes, he was fufilling the cliche prophecy. The zombie was working it's way through a hole it had punched in the door, and all Lars had to defend himself with was a fishing pole with a jig and bobber on it, which he had conveniently left in the bathroom for some reason.
"Heeere's Johnny!" the zombie screamed as it thrust it's head through the hole. With years of fishing experience, Lars cast the jig into the zombie's eye socket, closed the bail, and set the hook, effectively taking the ugly thing's eye out. It recoiled in pain, giving Lars his opportunity to climb through the window.
After a big of struggle, Lars dropped from the window onto his front lawn, where he promptly realized that there were zombies everywhere, likely having escaped from the local zombie factory. Almost as if he was reading this as I write, he quickly exclaimed "There's zombies everywhere! They must have escaped from the local zombie factory!"
Lars arrived at the nearest heavy quasi-legal weaponry shop after a daring escape seen in his beat-up Gremlin. From outside the factory, he could already see that people were lining up even outside the doors to grab some weapons and go slay some zombies.
Pushing people aside so that he could get inside, Lars was greeted with elevator-style music. He began grabbing up weapons with which to dish out some red-hot dead-alive death, when the cashier suddenly piped up.
"All right, you guys. What do you think you're doing?" he asked, calmly. "You can't just loot the store. That's morally incorrect."
People all around looked at each other. Perhaps this guy was right. What they were doing was just plain wrong.
"I mean... come on. If you can't pay for it, then please just leave. That way, the people who can pay will have weapons so they won't die," he continued. The shop clerk had more wisdom then a Black History Month guest speaker.
The shop quickly cleared out until only a few people were left, one of which was Lars. He looked at the clerk with big puppy eyes and began to plead. "Can I please have a level one gun, Mr. Clerk? Please?"
It was enough to make any self-respecting, red-blooded store clerk puke all over. "All right," he grunted. "In fact, you can all have one level one weapon. And one level one item, too, just because you're lucky! Just one! Now grab one, and get the hell out of here!" he yelled.
Lars, filled with joy and inspiration to slay zombies, grabbed a .22 pistol and a blood-stained wife beater, and headed out.
"All right, you guys," he called to the others. "Let's all climb into my tiny, underpowered car and head to the zombie factory!"
[glow=red,2,300]Rules[/glow]Read them, or else you'll have no idea how to play. Not kidding.
1: After each post, the next person to post will grant you some money, depending on how good your last post was. You can earn up to $75 plus bonuses, depending on how good your post was. That means that the next person to post in this thread will rate my intro. Here's the system:
Proper grammar & spelling: +$25
Contributing to the RPG: +$25
Violence: +$25
Bonuses
heh (made you snort/grunt): +$25
lolz (made you laugh): +$50
lmfao (made you roll on the floor): +$75
Did something cool (name it)(can be use more than once): +$25
Be sure to total it all up for the person. Use your computer's calculator if you need to.
2: The money you earn can be spent on items and weapons. If at any time you want to buy some new stuff, just post that your character has left the fight to get some stuff, post what you bought, then post them getting back into the action. You'll notice that I mentioned level one items and weapons in my post. Items and weapons are rated from level one to level three, level one being the least effective. Your character will start out with a household object (like a fishing pole, butter knife, or toaster), one level one weapon, and one level one item. Here are the weapons.
Weapons
(level one)
1: .22 pistol $100
2: break-action shotgun $100
3: steak knife $100
4: .22 rifle $100
(level two)
1: .45 pistol $500
2: pump-action shotgun $500
3: machete $500
4: .257 rifle $500
(level three)
1: .50 pistol $1000
2: semi-automatic shotgun $1000
3: chainsaw $1000
4: .50 rifle $1000
5: super zombienator 2593 and three-fourths $1000 (use your imagination)
And here's the items.
Items
(level one)
1: cool sunglasses $100
2: plastic "bling" necklace $100
3: afro wig $100
4: fingerless wool gloves $100
5: long jacket $100
6: blood-stained wife beater $100 (why is it stained? who cares, it's cool!)
(level two)
1: combat boots $500
2: cheap rifle scope $500
3: silver "bling" necklace $500
4: fingerless leather gloves $500
5: uncolored leather trenchcoat $500
6: black baggy pants with lots of pockets $500
(level three)
1: Oakleys glasses $1000
2: Leuphold rifle scope w/ infrared & night vision $1000
3: black leather trenchcoat $1000
4: gold "bling" necklace $1000
5: black fingerless leather gloves $1000
6: fake dog poop $1000
3: I might randomly decide to initiate a vote. In a vote, everyone MUST vote for one person to be killed. Whoever recieves the most votes will be killed.
4: If you suck, don't join, because I'll kill your character.
5: Your character sheet will look like the following example. You will not add or omit information. If you do either, I will kill your character.
Name: Lars Manfield
Age: 26
Household item: Fishing pole w/ jig & bobber
Shirt (all characters start out with a T-shirt): Dark green
Jeans (all characters start out with jeans, which may be any color except for black): Blue
All other information is to be revealed in your posts.
6: That's it. Enjoy this crappy zombie thread as if it was the best one you had ever seen in your life
