Post by Reno on Dec 20, 2009 10:53:03 GMT -5
An eyebrow rose as he heard the laugh, knowing it well. Ven’s ‘brush it all off’ laugh. He often pretended like nothing was wrong when something was, even to him though he knew he couldn’t fool him. He’d caught him in so many lies… but before he could call him on it, the next question made him worry, glancing at Zidane. “Uh… yeah I am… Yeah I can hold on okay?” He pulled the phone away, pushing his plate towards the other. “Sorry he wants to talk about something private. Brother stuff, ya know? Sounds long. Go ahead and finish that babe, it’ll get cold.” He gave the other a slight smile, before getting up and walking off to their room, shutting the door behind him. This he had explained to Zidane at least… though the blonde didn’t much like it. He felt like he was keeping secrets from him.
But he explained as carefully as he could he was keeping secrets from him… only he was keeping Roxas’ or Ven’s secrets from him. Things that he had no right to tell; not like he would ever want to tell anyone. Especially not Roxas’ secrets. He… he was still dealing with it himself sometimes. Just wrapped his head around it had taken months. Being a druggie. An alcoholic. And having been…
Well let’s just say when he saw Marluxia at that court hearing, he almost got up and killed him when he said he wasn’t guilty, acted so aloof to the fact that he had destroyed his youngest brother’s life. He’d never felt like that before in his life… but knowing someone had hurt his little brother in such an unforgivable way… he almost couldn’t deal with it. Nor could he deal with the guilt… that he hadn’t protected him, hadn’t helped him. He couldn’t even imagine how Roxas had felt or was still feeling and would continue to feel for the rest of his life.
Sora shook off the thoughts, placing the phone to his ear as he sat down on the bed. He knew this talk wasn’t about Roxas. “Okay I’m here.”
He didn’t expect it to be about himself either.
The brunette frowned some, hearing the concern in his brother’s tone. He remembered that… Zidane had gotten fired for stealing from the store. But Zidane told him it was an accident; that he had taken home some things without noticing while he was stocking the place. But Ven always thought the worst of it… “About a month and a half.” Sora answered simply to the last question. “But you know finding a job is tough Ven, and I’m sure his old boss isn’t helping him get one if they think he is a thief.”
He heard the other talk more, and sighed softly. “Ven that’s ridiculous. Even if I am a Holani… dad’s practically written me out of the family. You know what he said; as long as I’m still dating guys he’ll give me no financial support. You remember that time I was close to being evicted when I was with Zell and had to ask you and Rox for some cash? You remember what dad said? He said it would have been better for me if I was on the streets because then I wouldn’t be living with a guy. Zidane knows all this, it’s not like I kept it a secret about how much of a jerk he can be. And yet he’s still with me.”
His younger brother seemed to hesitate but the next words…
His hand rose to his heart and he shut his eyes. Hayner…
“I know he’s not Ven.” Sora whispered, his tone low. He laid down on the bed, sighing. “You know… what I’m scared of most? …. I’m scared Hayner WAS Mr. Right. What if… if I let him just… walk out of my life? I… I should of tried harder. Should of visited more… Instead I may of made the biggest mistake of my life!”
Smooth hands ran over recently shaved skin, enjoyed the sleek feel of her skin. Ah, nothing was better than right after the shave. But the cut was going to hurt like a bitch. It was like a fucking paper cut. She rinsed the metal once more before setting it in its case and up where the shampoo and conditioner was, before turning off the water. She stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel off the rack Ven had nails to the wall nearby, wrapping it around herself and shivering in the cold air. Even from here she could smell breakfast shimmering on the stove.
Her eyes darted towards the sink, seeing the test sitting there so innocently.
….
….
….
Aqua took a deep breath… and crossed over to the sink, staring at her own reflection. Her mirror self stared back, uncertainty in her shifting eyes, worry creased in her forehead, discontent seen in the down-turned side of her lip, and fear in the tension of her neck. Then her mirror self stop looking at each other, eyes falling behind lids as she looked down.
…
“Oh my god.” She whispered, before making a grab for the box she had discarded in the trash. She read it once, twice, three times… then looked back at the test.
“Oh… my…GOD!!!”
The blonde looked around the front room, seeing the small reception area before it led down a hall held horizontally and disappeared on either side. Everything was freshly painted, the walls in light blue and drawings of suns, little woodland creatures like squirrels and does, and music notes dancing around them on the walls.
The doors were all open, allowing music and words to waft in on those in the front for a gander in. He wondered, in the back of his mind, if that was nerve-wracking for the kids. He remembered when he was as young as these kids, just a round of show and tell had him wanted to curl up in the corner and cry – and that was with his own peers. He hated talking to adults at that age, much less liking them watching him. And sure he wasn’t an adult but in these kids eyes… anyone over 5’4’’ was an adult.
“Yeah…” Roxas agreed softly, rather wishing he had gone to a school like this when he was a kid. He always enjoyed music; but he never knew he wanted to be a musician until he met Demyx. The blonde taught him some things about playing the sitar, and while it wasn’t his instrument he found he had loved the feel of it, making music from his fingertips. After he left rehab and got to college, he went to the first music class he could. That was how he met Xion; and he was glad he had. She was amazing… and-
He blinked when she became shocked, looking at something over his shoulder. Feeling apprehensive… Roxas slowly turned around. “Nah!” He gasped, his eyes widening as he saw the red-head he had just been staring at was now right behind him! He backed away quickly, running into Xion, heart thundering in his ears.
Oh god he was wrong. He looked like Reno. He looked a lot like Reno. What if he was Reno? What if he got plastic surgery (how much money did he get from him alone?!) and was after him again?! What if Marluxia got out jail… and… and they were after him again?
He almost couldn’t hear Xion speak. His face paled, becoming sick to his stomach all over again. He needed some fucking chocolate.
Something past her lips that made it to his brain though. This guy’s name. Axel.
His eyes fell to the hand that was offered to him, then like a scared rabbit his eyes darted back up to his face. He… This Axel-Reno whoever was kidding right?
What do you want from me? Why… Why won’t you leave me alone?
His heart calmed a little as the man looked away from him, allowing him to catch his breath as he spoke with his friend though from the way he was looking at her he almost wanted to step in front of her and protect her from the red-head. He caught her asking for something though he though the request was strange. Why didn’t she just ask him for a di-
His eyes grew two times their size as he saw the small package being handed over, catching sight of the white powder inside.
Oh god…
Oh god no……
It was happening again.
The man looked at him, and he could almost see him. That hungry, lecherous gaze that wanted to swallow his soul and spit it into hell. He took a step back eyes watching him, watching him from all over. His things fell from his hands as his reached out, catching himself against the wall. “I…I gotta… I gotta get out of here… Gotta….” He swallowed thickly shaking his head before hurrying out the door and onto the sidewalk. The bus was long gone now, and all that were left on the street were prostitutes and bums. He chose a way, hurrying down it blindly.
He heard his name called behind him, glanced back to see Xion and Axel following him. Narrow eyes… gleaming… shattering him…
”Do you like amigos?”
Panic hit him.
“Oh Fuck!” He cursed and then suddenly took off at a run, as if the demons of hell were following him. But it wasn’t Xion and Axel anymore. It was his past. And he needed to get away from it. He heard them following him but lucky for him he wasn’t running blind. He knew the Gallows like the back of his hand.
He cut the corner of the street, then down the left alley, becoming shrouded in the shadows. That wouldn’t trick them for long but he knew this alley. He’d been down it a few times with Reno… new the layout. He panted hard, weaving past a few trashcans before he suddenly jumped. His fingers curled around a metal bar of a fire escape. He grunted before pulling himself up, catching the second bar and pulling himself up. He climbed the last few before reaching the platform that was level with the second floor. He hid against the shadows, his back leaning against the metal bars as he curled his legs to his chest.
A few minutes later he heard Xi called his name, saw her and Axel walking down the alley. He didn’t even breath, watching them pass under him, eyes wide and body shaking all over. They didn’t find him though, didn’t even bother to look up before they turned and left walking down the sidewalk again.
Roxas shut his eyes, a few tears falling down his cheeks and his breath coming in rapid pants before his shaking hands darted to his pants’ pocket. He… He needed to get out of here. He pulled out his cell phone, fingers trembling as he opened it and speed-dialed Sora’s cell before shakily placing it against his ear.
Sora frowned on the other end of the line, Ven having put him on hold. Even he was concerned, having heard Aqua’s yell from his side. What could have happened…?
“I was meant to live in this world.
I was meant to give to this world.
So let me, let me,
Let me give.
Let me, let me,
Let me liiiive.”
Sora blinked, hearing his cell phone go off, seeing the screen bright up where it was sitting on the dresser. He knew that ringtone. He reached out, snatching it up and flipping it open, apprehension in his gut.
“Roxas? ….Roxas calm down… Okay, okay. Shhh, breathe it’s okay… Where are you? …. Yeah I’ll be there in ten minutes. Just stay where you are.”
Two minutes later, he had hung up on his first brother (though he felt terribly for doing it he knew Ven would understand), threw on some clothes and went running through the kitchen and out the front door. “I’LL BE BACK ZIDANE!” Was all he yelled over his shoulder, just barely remembering to snatch up his keys and without much more explanation then that he was gone, the car peeling down the road.
But he explained as carefully as he could he was keeping secrets from him… only he was keeping Roxas’ or Ven’s secrets from him. Things that he had no right to tell; not like he would ever want to tell anyone. Especially not Roxas’ secrets. He… he was still dealing with it himself sometimes. Just wrapped his head around it had taken months. Being a druggie. An alcoholic. And having been…
Well let’s just say when he saw Marluxia at that court hearing, he almost got up and killed him when he said he wasn’t guilty, acted so aloof to the fact that he had destroyed his youngest brother’s life. He’d never felt like that before in his life… but knowing someone had hurt his little brother in such an unforgivable way… he almost couldn’t deal with it. Nor could he deal with the guilt… that he hadn’t protected him, hadn’t helped him. He couldn’t even imagine how Roxas had felt or was still feeling and would continue to feel for the rest of his life.
Sora shook off the thoughts, placing the phone to his ear as he sat down on the bed. He knew this talk wasn’t about Roxas. “Okay I’m here.”
He didn’t expect it to be about himself either.
The brunette frowned some, hearing the concern in his brother’s tone. He remembered that… Zidane had gotten fired for stealing from the store. But Zidane told him it was an accident; that he had taken home some things without noticing while he was stocking the place. But Ven always thought the worst of it… “About a month and a half.” Sora answered simply to the last question. “But you know finding a job is tough Ven, and I’m sure his old boss isn’t helping him get one if they think he is a thief.”
He heard the other talk more, and sighed softly. “Ven that’s ridiculous. Even if I am a Holani… dad’s practically written me out of the family. You know what he said; as long as I’m still dating guys he’ll give me no financial support. You remember that time I was close to being evicted when I was with Zell and had to ask you and Rox for some cash? You remember what dad said? He said it would have been better for me if I was on the streets because then I wouldn’t be living with a guy. Zidane knows all this, it’s not like I kept it a secret about how much of a jerk he can be. And yet he’s still with me.”
His younger brother seemed to hesitate but the next words…
His hand rose to his heart and he shut his eyes. Hayner…
“I know he’s not Ven.” Sora whispered, his tone low. He laid down on the bed, sighing. “You know… what I’m scared of most? …. I’m scared Hayner WAS Mr. Right. What if… if I let him just… walk out of my life? I… I should of tried harder. Should of visited more… Instead I may of made the biggest mistake of my life!”
Smooth hands ran over recently shaved skin, enjoyed the sleek feel of her skin. Ah, nothing was better than right after the shave. But the cut was going to hurt like a bitch. It was like a fucking paper cut. She rinsed the metal once more before setting it in its case and up where the shampoo and conditioner was, before turning off the water. She stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel off the rack Ven had nails to the wall nearby, wrapping it around herself and shivering in the cold air. Even from here she could smell breakfast shimmering on the stove.
Her eyes darted towards the sink, seeing the test sitting there so innocently.
….
….
….
Aqua took a deep breath… and crossed over to the sink, staring at her own reflection. Her mirror self stared back, uncertainty in her shifting eyes, worry creased in her forehead, discontent seen in the down-turned side of her lip, and fear in the tension of her neck. Then her mirror self stop looking at each other, eyes falling behind lids as she looked down.
…
“Oh my god.” She whispered, before making a grab for the box she had discarded in the trash. She read it once, twice, three times… then looked back at the test.
“Oh… my…GOD!!!”
The blonde looked around the front room, seeing the small reception area before it led down a hall held horizontally and disappeared on either side. Everything was freshly painted, the walls in light blue and drawings of suns, little woodland creatures like squirrels and does, and music notes dancing around them on the walls.
The doors were all open, allowing music and words to waft in on those in the front for a gander in. He wondered, in the back of his mind, if that was nerve-wracking for the kids. He remembered when he was as young as these kids, just a round of show and tell had him wanted to curl up in the corner and cry – and that was with his own peers. He hated talking to adults at that age, much less liking them watching him. And sure he wasn’t an adult but in these kids eyes… anyone over 5’4’’ was an adult.
“Yeah…” Roxas agreed softly, rather wishing he had gone to a school like this when he was a kid. He always enjoyed music; but he never knew he wanted to be a musician until he met Demyx. The blonde taught him some things about playing the sitar, and while it wasn’t his instrument he found he had loved the feel of it, making music from his fingertips. After he left rehab and got to college, he went to the first music class he could. That was how he met Xion; and he was glad he had. She was amazing… and-
He blinked when she became shocked, looking at something over his shoulder. Feeling apprehensive… Roxas slowly turned around. “Nah!” He gasped, his eyes widening as he saw the red-head he had just been staring at was now right behind him! He backed away quickly, running into Xion, heart thundering in his ears.
Oh god he was wrong. He looked like Reno. He looked a lot like Reno. What if he was Reno? What if he got plastic surgery (how much money did he get from him alone?!) and was after him again?! What if Marluxia got out jail… and… and they were after him again?
He almost couldn’t hear Xion speak. His face paled, becoming sick to his stomach all over again. He needed some fucking chocolate.
Something past her lips that made it to his brain though. This guy’s name. Axel.
His eyes fell to the hand that was offered to him, then like a scared rabbit his eyes darted back up to his face. He… This Axel-Reno whoever was kidding right?
What do you want from me? Why… Why won’t you leave me alone?
His heart calmed a little as the man looked away from him, allowing him to catch his breath as he spoke with his friend though from the way he was looking at her he almost wanted to step in front of her and protect her from the red-head. He caught her asking for something though he though the request was strange. Why didn’t she just ask him for a di-
His eyes grew two times their size as he saw the small package being handed over, catching sight of the white powder inside.
Oh god…
Oh god no……
It was happening again.
The man looked at him, and he could almost see him. That hungry, lecherous gaze that wanted to swallow his soul and spit it into hell. He took a step back eyes watching him, watching him from all over. His things fell from his hands as his reached out, catching himself against the wall. “I…I gotta… I gotta get out of here… Gotta….” He swallowed thickly shaking his head before hurrying out the door and onto the sidewalk. The bus was long gone now, and all that were left on the street were prostitutes and bums. He chose a way, hurrying down it blindly.
He heard his name called behind him, glanced back to see Xion and Axel following him. Narrow eyes… gleaming… shattering him…
”Do you like amigos?”
Panic hit him.
“Oh Fuck!” He cursed and then suddenly took off at a run, as if the demons of hell were following him. But it wasn’t Xion and Axel anymore. It was his past. And he needed to get away from it. He heard them following him but lucky for him he wasn’t running blind. He knew the Gallows like the back of his hand.
He cut the corner of the street, then down the left alley, becoming shrouded in the shadows. That wouldn’t trick them for long but he knew this alley. He’d been down it a few times with Reno… new the layout. He panted hard, weaving past a few trashcans before he suddenly jumped. His fingers curled around a metal bar of a fire escape. He grunted before pulling himself up, catching the second bar and pulling himself up. He climbed the last few before reaching the platform that was level with the second floor. He hid against the shadows, his back leaning against the metal bars as he curled his legs to his chest.
A few minutes later he heard Xi called his name, saw her and Axel walking down the alley. He didn’t even breath, watching them pass under him, eyes wide and body shaking all over. They didn’t find him though, didn’t even bother to look up before they turned and left walking down the sidewalk again.
Roxas shut his eyes, a few tears falling down his cheeks and his breath coming in rapid pants before his shaking hands darted to his pants’ pocket. He… He needed to get out of here. He pulled out his cell phone, fingers trembling as he opened it and speed-dialed Sora’s cell before shakily placing it against his ear.
Sora frowned on the other end of the line, Ven having put him on hold. Even he was concerned, having heard Aqua’s yell from his side. What could have happened…?
“I was meant to live in this world.
I was meant to give to this world.
So let me, let me,
Let me give.
Let me, let me,
Let me liiiive.”
Sora blinked, hearing his cell phone go off, seeing the screen bright up where it was sitting on the dresser. He knew that ringtone. He reached out, snatching it up and flipping it open, apprehension in his gut.
“Roxas? ….Roxas calm down… Okay, okay. Shhh, breathe it’s okay… Where are you? …. Yeah I’ll be there in ten minutes. Just stay where you are.”
Two minutes later, he had hung up on his first brother (though he felt terribly for doing it he knew Ven would understand), threw on some clothes and went running through the kitchen and out the front door. “I’LL BE BACK ZIDANE!” Was all he yelled over his shoulder, just barely remembering to snatch up his keys and without much more explanation then that he was gone, the car peeling down the road.
