Post by Keitaro on Sept 24, 2006 20:33:42 GMT -5
I just got home from my cousin's wedding... dammit, family weddings are so depressing... I'm very happy for my cousin and her new husband, don't get me wrong, but it just reminds me how much my own life sucks... they're 5 years older than me, so it's really not the whole "not married yet" thing that's bothering me... they met when they were 21, a year younger than me, started dating when they were 22, have lived together off and on for 5 years, and are now married... Here I am, 22 years old, i've never really had a girlfriend, i've only dated 2 women, and then only for a short period of time and that over 3 years ago... and when i do find someone I like, who's sweet and funny and actually likes me, she turns out to be twice my fucking age... don't get me wrong, i'm ok with a little age difference, but even so there's a point where I have to draw the line... and that's when she's the same age as my mother... i still live with my parents in a house that smells like dog shit, even though i can afford to move out (not that i'm not working on that)... the only good thing in my life right now is the fact that I have a nice stable job... and even that is depressing, as I can go nowhere within that company from where I am... for me a job that has unlimited potential is a dead end. I don't have the education to move up in that field, and I'm worried that i won't be able to keep up with going to school full time and working full time, even though I've done it before, and a lot of the people i work with are doing it... besides which, in order to do any of that, I need to move out of my house so that the government will pay for at least some of my education, since my parents won't spend another dime on me. anyway i'm still not really sure this is what I want to do with my life, i know i've said before that I was born a technician, and for the most part i've come to accept that, mostly because i'm damned good at it... but i'm good at a lot of things, and with the right training i could do just about anything. My cousins and their families and their husbands and their families, they're all so successfull... my life can't really compare with theirs... fuck, my cousin's new husband's brother is 10 years older than me and he's a fucking multimillionaire!! and where am I? i drive a mediocre car, i live in a shit hole, and my life is going nowhere...
i'm sorry, I know i'm not supposed to be depressed, my life could be a lot worse and i'm better off than a lot of people... and i shouldn't compare myself to Dan's family or Jocelyn's friends... I know all of this, yet, right now, it doesn't help...
i'm sorry, I know i'm not supposed to be depressed, my life could be a lot worse and i'm better off than a lot of people... and i shouldn't compare myself to Dan's family or Jocelyn's friends... I know all of this, yet, right now, it doesn't help...
